Well, this is it!
No more excuses, and no more hiding the problem because the whole world is watching me now.
If I don’t succeed, I’ll die, simple as that. I’m 320 pounds, my blood pressure is being controlled by medications, my blood sugar is too high, my cholesterol numbers sound like I’m playing Texas Hold ‘Em, and I don’t feel well. I’ve let excess get the best of me, and it’s time to take my best back.
It wasn’t always like this. I now weight almost twice as much as I did when I graduated from Marine Military Academy back in 1979. Now I have to lose about one pound a week for two years to get down to my target weight of 200 pounds.
Why “Dieting In Hell?” Because this *is* going to be Hell, I assure you.
You see, I can cook. I don’t mean I can rustle-up something edible. I mean that over two days time I turn fifteen pounds of beef shank marrow bones, vegetables, and herbs into a 9” x ½” disk of rubbery chocolate brown glace de viande, and from this magical ingredient I turn out sauces that would most likely pass any chef’s muster. Intensely flavored roasts that you can eat with nothing more than a fork, exotically-perfumed dishes from places you may not have heard of, fishes of all kinds beautifully poached in court bouillon or oven roasted, delicate handmade pasta… the list is about twenty-five years long.
And the ingredients I use are top of the line. I get butter from Normandy, wines and raw milk cheeses from all over Europe, fruits and vegetables not long from the Earth that grew them, and fresh fish and meat of all kinds. I get such a great joy out of all the planning and hard work that goes into creating a beautiful meal for my family (and me, too), and to seeing and hearing everyone savor my handiwork.
I’ve had my share of bombs, too. In fact, I’m on some kind of terrorist list at the Department of Homeland Security because I’ve bombed so many times. But these bombings are during the pursuit of mastering a unique cuisine, like Uzbekistani or Azerbaijani, so I treat it more like an R&D misstep and, as Churchill put it, “KBO!” (Keep Buggering On)
Since I’d rather be forced to listen to Yoko Ono’s Greatest Hits while getting slowly castrated by a rusty farm implement than give up great food and wine, I’m going to try to lose weight by moderating what I eat and when, how much I eat, and how I cook it. No more fat-heavy cooking techniques and rich meats by the pound, and no more extravagant desserts. I’ve already developed a few fatless cooking techniques that turn out delicious food every time, and I’m working on a few more as I write this, so I’m going to put them into play and see how sustainable it is.
Oh, yeah – and I’m going to exercise. We’ll see how that goes. I hate exercise. Absolutely freaking hate it. I love how it makes me feel for the rest of the day after I do it, but I hate what it takes to get there. I used to love it when I was a fresh young thing, but that was once upon a time.
I’ll keep you all posted on everything I do and feel, how my weight loss progresses, what my medical stats are, what I eat, and how I cook it.
So wish me luck, folks, because I’ll need it down here in Hell.
1 comment:
You go, Adam! You can do it! For a little inspiration, consider my friend Brian Tarbell: he lost half his body weight in a year! That's right: from in excess of 360 down to about 180 in one year. How? Very strict dieting and exercise, just like you plan. Of course, he was absolutely fanatical about it and that's how he lost such drastic amounts of weight. But a more slow yet steady approach still gets you to the finish line! I'll link to his site here; sorry if that's considered verbotten.
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