I've been taking a four-week weight loss course at Kaiser Permanente, and last night was Week Two, where I learned more about the nature of my weight loss, and why it's behaved the way it has. Learned about that initial 8-pound loss (mostly water), which I knew was coming and not indicative of future weeks, and about building muscle mass, and how scales alone can seem frustrating if you don't understand about the fat loss/muscle gain that's going on.
So I have lost a total of ten pounds net weight so far, which means I've lost more than ten pounds of fat and gained some muscle to make up a part of the difference.
The main thing is that I feel so much better than I did before. And I've already lost desire for some of the things I always thought of as de facto additions to every meal. Bread is one of them.
We worked on appropriate portions last night, which was an eye-opener. I knew I had to reduce portion size and have been doing so, but now I have some solid guidelines to work with.
I'm also changing my idea of what a snack is. I had already shifted to things like whole wheat Triscuits and Claussen Kosher Mini Dill pickles (fantastic diet snack), but I'm going to focus more on vegetables from now on. Good thing I adore green vegetables. There's going to be a whole lot of steaming going on around here from now on, let me tell you.
Learning about cheese and alcohol and how my body metabolizes them was also an eye opener. I knew about half of the cheese stuff, but I had no idea that alcohol is metabolized more like it was fat. And the caloric value of alcohol is amazingly high, too. So it's one glass of wine per day -- maximum -- from now on.
Going to get the old free weights out of storage this weekend...
KBO!
Friday, September 28, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
A Leaner, Tastier Chicken Salad
I've always been proud of my chicken-pickin' skills. I can strip a chicken carcass clean quickly and efficiently, and strip every last bit of unrendered fat from between the thigh muscles along the way. The result is a very clean mound of chicken meat, ready for use in dishes that call for cooked chicken.
Or so I thought.
Turns out there is still a ton of greasy fat sticking to everything in sight. No wonder my chicken salad recipes were always greasy on the tongue, no matter how little binder I used.
So I got an idea that turned out to be a big hit: bathe the picked chicken in boiling water, stir for 30 seconds to agitate gently, and drain.
The result was perfectly lean chicken that was rejuvenated by the hot water and stripped of every spec of fat, plus a bonus of about a quart of fatty yellow chicken broth. I could have separated the fat and used the defatted broth, but I decided to leave everything as it was and feed it to Argie The Demon Kitty, who appears to be needing a little boost in the "stick to your ribs" department.
Once you drain the washed chicken, spread it out in a single layer on your cutting board to cool for about three minutes, then chop and cool in your freezer for about ten minutes. You'll have perfectly defatted chicken that's cold enough for direct use in any cold recipe you like.
Here's what I did. I did away with the mayonnaise entirely and used yogurt instead to bind the chicken salad. Much less fattening. Then I added other tangy ingredients like minced pepperoncini and minced capers, plus the usual complement of onion, relish, red bell pepper, and celery. And this time I added parsley, minced cucumber, and minced grape tomatoes to give everything a decidedly Greek influence.
Everyone loved it! What a great use of Sunday night's MegaChicken leftovers. And the great part was what the boiling water did to the drier parts like the leg meat that tends to dry into leather after roasting and a couple of days in the fridge. It came out plump and juicy and tender.
PS-- Make sure to bathe the pieces before they are chopped. You'll end up with a handful of stringy meat paste otherwise.
KBO!
Or so I thought.
Turns out there is still a ton of greasy fat sticking to everything in sight. No wonder my chicken salad recipes were always greasy on the tongue, no matter how little binder I used.
So I got an idea that turned out to be a big hit: bathe the picked chicken in boiling water, stir for 30 seconds to agitate gently, and drain.
The result was perfectly lean chicken that was rejuvenated by the hot water and stripped of every spec of fat, plus a bonus of about a quart of fatty yellow chicken broth. I could have separated the fat and used the defatted broth, but I decided to leave everything as it was and feed it to Argie The Demon Kitty, who appears to be needing a little boost in the "stick to your ribs" department.
Once you drain the washed chicken, spread it out in a single layer on your cutting board to cool for about three minutes, then chop and cool in your freezer for about ten minutes. You'll have perfectly defatted chicken that's cold enough for direct use in any cold recipe you like.
Here's what I did. I did away with the mayonnaise entirely and used yogurt instead to bind the chicken salad. Much less fattening. Then I added other tangy ingredients like minced pepperoncini and minced capers, plus the usual complement of onion, relish, red bell pepper, and celery. And this time I added parsley, minced cucumber, and minced grape tomatoes to give everything a decidedly Greek influence.
Everyone loved it! What a great use of Sunday night's MegaChicken leftovers. And the great part was what the boiling water did to the drier parts like the leg meat that tends to dry into leather after roasting and a couple of days in the fridge. It came out plump and juicy and tender.
PS-- Make sure to bathe the pieces before they are chopped. You'll end up with a handful of stringy meat paste otherwise.
KBO!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Lean Roast Chicken with Cornbread Dressing
Okay, the recipe for this one is elaborate, so I don't have time to document the whole thing, but I can detail the important changes that make this a winner.
This was an almost 8-pound roasting chicken, which I almost never do.
First, I'm so used to roasting small birds. At Thanksgiving I roast two (or four) free range 12-pounders rather than a single monstrous 24-pounder. I don't think God intended 24-pound birds to be cooked and eaten. I think it's an American marketing and primeval ego thing to plunk a Godzilla-bird like that on the dinner table. Sort of like, "Me Mongo! Me buy monster bird, give to woman, woman cook bird with fire!" Honey, please. All you did was whip out your MasterCard, and your woman probably can't cook it for sh*t, anyway.
Small birds are younger, so their flesh is more tender. And with less mass to cook, it's exposed to the heat for less time, which means you have less of a possibility of overcooking it. Also, with twice as many birds, you get twice as many cuts for everyone. Serving four people? How about four legs, thighs, breasts, and wings to make everyone happy with their favorite cuts?
And I suppose this is the best time to mention that, without fail, every single time you've ever seen a turkey carved in your life -- whether it be at your family's dinner table or on television -- you've seen it done the wrong way. Yes, being a minority of one doesn't make me crazy. Let me explain.
When you see Uncle Herschel wield his electric carving knife (invented by morons, for morons) and slice off that first skin-laden slice of breast from the side of the bird, you're seeing millions of years of human evolution go right down the toilet. You'd think that by now people would open their eyes and f#%&ing look at the flesh they're carving, right? Not a chance. Uncle Herschel is perfectly fine in his ignorance of the fact that he just created a slab of meat with muscle fibers over four inches long! Ever wonder why that turkey slice was difficult to cut with a knife and hard to chew as well? It's because you're wrestling against a fully intact band of elastic workhorse. You're trying to fire down the thing this 24-pound monster used to get around with (I know, the breasts aren't used that much in flightless birds, but they are still used).
To tame such a beast, you first have to break down its muscle fibers by cutting them into tiny pieces, and to do that you're going to have to take an entirely different approach:
Now the breast will not be dry (if you roasted it correctly), resting will enable it to retain its juices, and the longest muscle fiber your knife or teeth will have to battle is a scant 3/16" long. That's what makes a juicy bird also be tender. You can cut the meat with the side of your fork.
And yes, you will need a Granton carver for this because the side scallops enable the blade to slip through delicate meat without accluding to its surface and pullling it apart into a pile of shreds. Mine is a Henckels Professional "S", and it's worth the $90.
So how do you set this bird up for such cooking?
Start by making savory buttermilk cornbread from stone-ground corn meal and flour (two parts corn meal, one part flour) while bringing the bird closer to room temperature (that's closer, not at room temperature, so no hate mail, okay?). You can really cut out a lot of the fat normally used in a regular cornbread recipe here because it's going to be crumbled and mixed with other ingredients. Once the cornbread is cooled, crumble it in a large mixing bowl.
While the cornbread bakes I prepare the bird.
I start by reserving the liver in a small bowl, then putting the neck and giblets that came with the bird into a stock pot with bay leaves, thyme, black peppercorns, and an onion chopped coarsely with the skins still on. Water to cover, then simmer while the bird cooks.
I cut four onions with their skins on into 1/2" chunks and layer them in the bottom of a glass casserole just big enough to hold the bird. This is critically important, because if it's larger then you will burn everything and ruin the bird, because the juices spread out too much and evaporate quickly from the large exposed glass surface, which then begins to burn. And as the onions become exposed then they, too, will quickly go beyond carmelizing and convert more and more sugar into carbon until they are black and ruined, imparting a nasty huzz to your bird.
After I season the bird inside and out (bay leaves and thyme on the inside, too), I lay it on the bed of onions and spread out any fat I've pulled from the cavity flap onto the breasts to protect them from direct heat a bit longer.
No brushing with butter, no water in the pan (which steams the skin and makes it pallid) -- nothing. Just onions with their skins and the bird. Into a 350F oven for 30 minutes, then turn for another 30 minutes, after which you should begin to see a little juice and fat in the bottom, but not much. I brush what I can soak up in the basting brush back on the bird, then back in for more 30-minute cycles until the breast meat is done.
While the bird is roasting, cook a cup of wild rice and make a small batch of dirty rice (using the reserved chicken liver, and maybe a couple more for deeper flavor). Cut the fat in the dirty rice down to almost nothing. Then saute four onions (skins off this time) and a half stalk (about eight ribs) of celery, all finely minced together, in a little butter (not much -- we're trying to lose weight here!).
A trick for adding flavor without a lot of butter in dressing is to use a small bit of finely minced highly-flavored sausage, like a Smithfield smoked sausage (the only brand worth a flip). The idea is that smoke flavor travels far in a dish, and you don't need much to impart a lot of flavor. In fact, you can get by with only about a teaspoon per serving. Finely mince it and saute it until the fat is rendered out, then add the cooked sausage mince to the dressing. The Cajuns do this with minced Tasso.
Set each batch of ingredients you just made out to cool.
When the breast meat is done I use kitchen shears to sever the breast structure from the carcass, then cover it on a platter with plastic wrap and aluminum foil to let it rest. I put a couple of relief cuts between the back and the thighs so I can splay out the legs flat and let them rest in the rendered roasting fat. The roasting pan with the legs go back in for twenty or so minutes to continue cooking, as the dark meat takes longer to cook.
When the dark meat is done I separate the legs and thighs from the back and platter them, then cover like I did the breast structure.
Now to bake the dressing.
Mix the crumbled cornbread together with the cooled wild rice, dirty rice, sauteed vegetables, and minced cooked smoked sausage. Wet with canned chicken broth, pack into a deep casserole, cover with buttered parchment, and roast at 350F for about 45 minutes to an hour, or until desired doneness.
While the dressing bakes, I pour everything from the stock pot into the roasting pan and deglaze over high heat. Once the fond is all dissolved I place the boney structures into the chinois and press the juices out of them, then discard the bones. Then I strain the rest through the chinois and discard the solids.
Then I defat the liquid using the greatest gift The Lovely And Talented Lisa ever gave me: a lucite fat separator pitcher! Now I have a quart or so of very flavorful liquid with almost no fat at all. I reduce this by half into a lovely jus.
For the gravy, I use a little of the fat separated from the roasting liquids rather than butter or oil. Why not use something that already tastes like roasted chicken? I make a roux using the rendered roasting fat, whisk in the reduced jus, add a little thyme and a touch of sage, and cook down to the exact consistency I want. Then adjust for salt and pepper at the end, and the National Drink Of The South -- gravy -- is done.
Carve the chicken breast as I described earlier, and carve the dark meat. Fan slices across a mound of dressing hot from the oven, and spoon some gravy over the meat. Serve with some greens like spinach or collards mixed with spinach.
This is an elegant, intensely-flavored dish that is both succulent and relatively low in fat while being high in protein. And the family absolutely loves it, which is what makes it all worthwhile.
This was an almost 8-pound roasting chicken, which I almost never do.
First, I'm so used to roasting small birds. At Thanksgiving I roast two (or four) free range 12-pounders rather than a single monstrous 24-pounder. I don't think God intended 24-pound birds to be cooked and eaten. I think it's an American marketing and primeval ego thing to plunk a Godzilla-bird like that on the dinner table. Sort of like, "Me Mongo! Me buy monster bird, give to woman, woman cook bird with fire!" Honey, please. All you did was whip out your MasterCard, and your woman probably can't cook it for sh*t, anyway.
Small birds are younger, so their flesh is more tender. And with less mass to cook, it's exposed to the heat for less time, which means you have less of a possibility of overcooking it. Also, with twice as many birds, you get twice as many cuts for everyone. Serving four people? How about four legs, thighs, breasts, and wings to make everyone happy with their favorite cuts?
And I suppose this is the best time to mention that, without fail, every single time you've ever seen a turkey carved in your life -- whether it be at your family's dinner table or on television -- you've seen it done the wrong way. Yes, being a minority of one doesn't make me crazy. Let me explain.
When you see Uncle Herschel wield his electric carving knife (invented by morons, for morons) and slice off that first skin-laden slice of breast from the side of the bird, you're seeing millions of years of human evolution go right down the toilet. You'd think that by now people would open their eyes and f#%&ing look at the flesh they're carving, right? Not a chance. Uncle Herschel is perfectly fine in his ignorance of the fact that he just created a slab of meat with muscle fibers over four inches long! Ever wonder why that turkey slice was difficult to cut with a knife and hard to chew as well? It's because you're wrestling against a fully intact band of elastic workhorse. You're trying to fire down the thing this 24-pound monster used to get around with (I know, the breasts aren't used that much in flightless birds, but they are still used).
To tame such a beast, you first have to break down its muscle fibers by cutting them into tiny pieces, and to do that you're going to have to take an entirely different approach:
Roast a smaller bird, let it rest tented for an hour, remove the entire breast intact, then use a Granton carver to slice across the grain in 3/16" slices.
Now the breast will not be dry (if you roasted it correctly), resting will enable it to retain its juices, and the longest muscle fiber your knife or teeth will have to battle is a scant 3/16" long. That's what makes a juicy bird also be tender. You can cut the meat with the side of your fork.
And yes, you will need a Granton carver for this because the side scallops enable the blade to slip through delicate meat without accluding to its surface and pullling it apart into a pile of shreds. Mine is a Henckels Professional "S", and it's worth the $90.
So how do you set this bird up for such cooking?
Start by making savory buttermilk cornbread from stone-ground corn meal and flour (two parts corn meal, one part flour) while bringing the bird closer to room temperature (that's closer, not at room temperature, so no hate mail, okay?). You can really cut out a lot of the fat normally used in a regular cornbread recipe here because it's going to be crumbled and mixed with other ingredients. Once the cornbread is cooled, crumble it in a large mixing bowl.
While the cornbread bakes I prepare the bird.
I start by reserving the liver in a small bowl, then putting the neck and giblets that came with the bird into a stock pot with bay leaves, thyme, black peppercorns, and an onion chopped coarsely with the skins still on. Water to cover, then simmer while the bird cooks.
I cut four onions with their skins on into 1/2" chunks and layer them in the bottom of a glass casserole just big enough to hold the bird. This is critically important, because if it's larger then you will burn everything and ruin the bird, because the juices spread out too much and evaporate quickly from the large exposed glass surface, which then begins to burn. And as the onions become exposed then they, too, will quickly go beyond carmelizing and convert more and more sugar into carbon until they are black and ruined, imparting a nasty huzz to your bird.
After I season the bird inside and out (bay leaves and thyme on the inside, too), I lay it on the bed of onions and spread out any fat I've pulled from the cavity flap onto the breasts to protect them from direct heat a bit longer.
No brushing with butter, no water in the pan (which steams the skin and makes it pallid) -- nothing. Just onions with their skins and the bird. Into a 350F oven for 30 minutes, then turn for another 30 minutes, after which you should begin to see a little juice and fat in the bottom, but not much. I brush what I can soak up in the basting brush back on the bird, then back in for more 30-minute cycles until the breast meat is done.
While the bird is roasting, cook a cup of wild rice and make a small batch of dirty rice (using the reserved chicken liver, and maybe a couple more for deeper flavor). Cut the fat in the dirty rice down to almost nothing. Then saute four onions (skins off this time) and a half stalk (about eight ribs) of celery, all finely minced together, in a little butter (not much -- we're trying to lose weight here!).
A trick for adding flavor without a lot of butter in dressing is to use a small bit of finely minced highly-flavored sausage, like a Smithfield smoked sausage (the only brand worth a flip). The idea is that smoke flavor travels far in a dish, and you don't need much to impart a lot of flavor. In fact, you can get by with only about a teaspoon per serving. Finely mince it and saute it until the fat is rendered out, then add the cooked sausage mince to the dressing. The Cajuns do this with minced Tasso.
Set each batch of ingredients you just made out to cool.
When the breast meat is done I use kitchen shears to sever the breast structure from the carcass, then cover it on a platter with plastic wrap and aluminum foil to let it rest. I put a couple of relief cuts between the back and the thighs so I can splay out the legs flat and let them rest in the rendered roasting fat. The roasting pan with the legs go back in for twenty or so minutes to continue cooking, as the dark meat takes longer to cook.
When the dark meat is done I separate the legs and thighs from the back and platter them, then cover like I did the breast structure.
Now to bake the dressing.
Mix the crumbled cornbread together with the cooled wild rice, dirty rice, sauteed vegetables, and minced cooked smoked sausage. Wet with canned chicken broth, pack into a deep casserole, cover with buttered parchment, and roast at 350F for about 45 minutes to an hour, or until desired doneness.
While the dressing bakes, I pour everything from the stock pot into the roasting pan and deglaze over high heat. Once the fond is all dissolved I place the boney structures into the chinois and press the juices out of them, then discard the bones. Then I strain the rest through the chinois and discard the solids.
Then I defat the liquid using the greatest gift The Lovely And Talented Lisa ever gave me: a lucite fat separator pitcher! Now I have a quart or so of very flavorful liquid with almost no fat at all. I reduce this by half into a lovely jus.
For the gravy, I use a little of the fat separated from the roasting liquids rather than butter or oil. Why not use something that already tastes like roasted chicken? I make a roux using the rendered roasting fat, whisk in the reduced jus, add a little thyme and a touch of sage, and cook down to the exact consistency I want. Then adjust for salt and pepper at the end, and the National Drink Of The South -- gravy -- is done.
Carve the chicken breast as I described earlier, and carve the dark meat. Fan slices across a mound of dressing hot from the oven, and spoon some gravy over the meat. Serve with some greens like spinach or collards mixed with spinach.
This is an elegant, intensely-flavored dish that is both succulent and relatively low in fat while being high in protein. And the family absolutely loves it, which is what makes it all worthwhile.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Simply GORGEOUS!
Okay, pretty babies, time to act.
Go out right now and buy a few bottles of 2005 Cotes du Rhone E. Guigal Chateau d'Ampuis Rose.
Do it. Do it now. The power of Christ compels you!
This is a lovely bottle, and I usually don't go for roses. I picked up a few bottles of rose the last time I went shopping because The Lovely And Talented Lisa wanted some, and I knew I probably wouldn't go wrong with a 2005 Cotes du Rhone.
I have to limit myself to a short glass because of the diet and the fact that wine, as wonderful as it is, really are empty calories once the ol' Krebs Cycle gets hold of it. But what a glass it is for the fifteen or so I spent on it.
Speaking of wine, whether you love it or just want to, subscribe to Wine Spectator Magazine. This is one of the most professionally produced publications of any kind, anywhere. I truly respect the creative and talented souls at Wine Spectator for their consistent quality and passion for such a worthy subject. Just click the link in Relevant Distractions on the right to get started.
Much love to you all.
KBO!
Go out right now and buy a few bottles of 2005 Cotes du Rhone E. Guigal Chateau d'Ampuis Rose.
Do it. Do it now. The power of Christ compels you!
This is a lovely bottle, and I usually don't go for roses. I picked up a few bottles of rose the last time I went shopping because The Lovely And Talented Lisa wanted some, and I knew I probably wouldn't go wrong with a 2005 Cotes du Rhone.
I have to limit myself to a short glass because of the diet and the fact that wine, as wonderful as it is, really are empty calories once the ol' Krebs Cycle gets hold of it. But what a glass it is for the fifteen or so I spent on it.
Speaking of wine, whether you love it or just want to, subscribe to Wine Spectator Magazine. This is one of the most professionally produced publications of any kind, anywhere. I truly respect the creative and talented souls at Wine Spectator for their consistent quality and passion for such a worthy subject. Just click the link in Relevant Distractions on the right to get started.
Much love to you all.
KBO!
Monday, September 17, 2007
Elliptical Man Not Bad... He Just Misunderstood
Okay, so I figured out why I was failing on the elliptical. Apparently I was crouching slightly into a sitting position, which prevented my legs from directly providing upward support to my upper body. Instead, I was using doing a sort of micro-squat thrust with every step.
No wonder.
Now that I've pulled my head out of my ass, I can go for quite a while on the elliptical without a problem. And I've learned two new elliptical exercises to boot:
No wonder.
Now that I've pulled my head out of my ass, I can go for quite a while on the elliptical without a problem. And I've learned two new elliptical exercises to boot:
- Pedalling backward works a different set of leg muscles (learned that one from the machine's manual), and
- Pedalling with a very slight sitting position really works the living hell out of the entire lower body. I'll save this one for later.
I'm quite happy with the elliptical now. My apologies, Elliptical Man, for all those nasty things I said about you.
I was wrong.
KBO!
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Spice Barn!
I finally found a reasonably-priced source for dried vegetables! And they carry tomato powder, too! The place is named Spice Barn (link on the right in Relevant Distractions).
I'm as happy as a little girl!
I've been looking for a place to find dried vegetables for use in rice mixes I've designed. Think Zataran's, but a lot better. Fresh vegetables just don't have the concentrated flavor of dried vegetables, and they add too much water to the dish. With dried vegetables I can grind them fine or leave them large as I like, combine them with dried spices and herbs into an easy-to-use dry mix -- it's just so very convenient.
Okay, so I'm kvelling a bit much, so sue me! This is important to me.
By creating a dry mix that contains all the ground dried vegetables, spices, herbs, and chicken bouillon, I can just toss some into a ziplock bag with some parboiled rice, and make it a twenty-minute side dish for just about any protein. Boil some water and a just little butter, dump in the rice mix, stir, cover, and simmer gently for 15 minutes. When done, fluff, cover again, and let sit for five minutes for the flavor to finish developing.
Once I have everything developed I'll probably make some available for sale, but don't hold me to it.
KBO!
I'm as happy as a little girl!
I've been looking for a place to find dried vegetables for use in rice mixes I've designed. Think Zataran's, but a lot better. Fresh vegetables just don't have the concentrated flavor of dried vegetables, and they add too much water to the dish. With dried vegetables I can grind them fine or leave them large as I like, combine them with dried spices and herbs into an easy-to-use dry mix -- it's just so very convenient.
Okay, so I'm kvelling a bit much, so sue me! This is important to me.
By creating a dry mix that contains all the ground dried vegetables, spices, herbs, and chicken bouillon, I can just toss some into a ziplock bag with some parboiled rice, and make it a twenty-minute side dish for just about any protein. Boil some water and a just little butter, dump in the rice mix, stir, cover, and simmer gently for 15 minutes. When done, fluff, cover again, and let sit for five minutes for the flavor to finish developing.
Once I have everything developed I'll probably make some available for sale, but don't hold me to it.
KBO!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
My Pants Fit Loosely Now
Well the diet is definitely working, because when I put on my jeans for the first time in a couple of weeks they fit loosely. So loosely, in fact, that my belt on the last notch was still too loose.
And I feel healthier, too. I'm jazzed about losing the fat that remains between me and my goal weight.
The past twenty years have been interesting, to say the least. You hear about the prejudice against fat people, and fat people believe they know better than anyone just how deep this goes. But they don't; the people who know the depths of this prejudice better than anyone are the people like me who were once physically fit, but who gained a lot of weight over a long period of time. That's because we have fully experienced both the benchmark of being reasonably attractive to others and the benchmark of being treated with everything from offhandedness to open hostility. People who have always been fat know only the misery of being fat, and can only imagine what it's like "on the inside" to be accepted both physically and intellectually the minute you walk into a room. Basically, it sucks a lot worse than the prepetually fat can possibly imagine.
You know how rich people blow their brains out when they aren't rich anymore because they just can't imagine living outside the realm of privilege and entitlement, but people who have always been poor just deal? Same thing.
It was the same thing when I went from living in a luxury penthouse in Midtown Atlanta to living in a low-rent apartment when I was in my early twenties. When I lived in a swanky penthouse and ran my own business (back in the days of my first business) I could throw a pebble and hit an uncharacteristically hot date who was, shall we say, "enthusiastic." And that was as a single parent with full custody of a very young child. When I was just another schmuck working just another job, I couldn't get laid outside a women's prison with a handful of weekend passes and a case of Jack Daniels.
We're all nothing more than appearances. Nothing more than the interpretations of people who ignore what is real in favor of a facade that should be meaningless in an intellect-based society. But there is something much stronger than intellect working here, and none of us can effectively argue with it. That all-powerful thing is instinct. Instinct built into our brains by millenia of conditioning that tells us who are the most powerful mates, leaders, and enemies in our midst.
Women want to mate with young, tall, visibly strong men with clear eyes and symmetrical features. These are the men who most logically can protect them and father healthy children. And they require men of visible means to support them and the children that might issue from their union.
Men might criticize women for this, but we shouldn't. This is entirely logical behavior. I actually quite respect them for this -- especially the women who are unapologetic for strictly adhering to their criteria. And besides, men are much worse in the ways they choose the most desireable women, which seem to have almost no direct biological value whatsoever.
The stereotype of "fat and stupid" really can't be argued with too much, really. It was stupid to allow myself to get this way. Gluttony and the lack of control over my immediate personal gratification. More was always better.
Unless you have a scientifically diagnosed condition that is separately verified and certified by a competent medical authority (and no, that isn't you or me; there are only a couple of handfuls nationwide), then you have full control over your ability to lose weight. It doesn't matter if your family is all fat, or if you're a Pima Indian (the most efficient metabolism of any ethnicity in the world), or fill-in-the-blank, it's all up to you. Deal.
The reactions of others can be forgiven if we understand the science behind the reasons why they act the way they do.
My fat is my problem.
But not for long.
KBO!
And I feel healthier, too. I'm jazzed about losing the fat that remains between me and my goal weight.
The past twenty years have been interesting, to say the least. You hear about the prejudice against fat people, and fat people believe they know better than anyone just how deep this goes. But they don't; the people who know the depths of this prejudice better than anyone are the people like me who were once physically fit, but who gained a lot of weight over a long period of time. That's because we have fully experienced both the benchmark of being reasonably attractive to others and the benchmark of being treated with everything from offhandedness to open hostility. People who have always been fat know only the misery of being fat, and can only imagine what it's like "on the inside" to be accepted both physically and intellectually the minute you walk into a room. Basically, it sucks a lot worse than the prepetually fat can possibly imagine.
You know how rich people blow their brains out when they aren't rich anymore because they just can't imagine living outside the realm of privilege and entitlement, but people who have always been poor just deal? Same thing.
It was the same thing when I went from living in a luxury penthouse in Midtown Atlanta to living in a low-rent apartment when I was in my early twenties. When I lived in a swanky penthouse and ran my own business (back in the days of my first business) I could throw a pebble and hit an uncharacteristically hot date who was, shall we say, "enthusiastic." And that was as a single parent with full custody of a very young child. When I was just another schmuck working just another job, I couldn't get laid outside a women's prison with a handful of weekend passes and a case of Jack Daniels.
We're all nothing more than appearances. Nothing more than the interpretations of people who ignore what is real in favor of a facade that should be meaningless in an intellect-based society. But there is something much stronger than intellect working here, and none of us can effectively argue with it. That all-powerful thing is instinct. Instinct built into our brains by millenia of conditioning that tells us who are the most powerful mates, leaders, and enemies in our midst.
Women want to mate with young, tall, visibly strong men with clear eyes and symmetrical features. These are the men who most logically can protect them and father healthy children. And they require men of visible means to support them and the children that might issue from their union.
Men might criticize women for this, but we shouldn't. This is entirely logical behavior. I actually quite respect them for this -- especially the women who are unapologetic for strictly adhering to their criteria. And besides, men are much worse in the ways they choose the most desireable women, which seem to have almost no direct biological value whatsoever.
The stereotype of "fat and stupid" really can't be argued with too much, really. It was stupid to allow myself to get this way. Gluttony and the lack of control over my immediate personal gratification. More was always better.
Unless you have a scientifically diagnosed condition that is separately verified and certified by a competent medical authority (and no, that isn't you or me; there are only a couple of handfuls nationwide), then you have full control over your ability to lose weight. It doesn't matter if your family is all fat, or if you're a Pima Indian (the most efficient metabolism of any ethnicity in the world), or fill-in-the-blank, it's all up to you. Deal.
The reactions of others can be forgiven if we understand the science behind the reasons why they act the way they do.
My fat is my problem.
But not for long.
KBO!
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Beef and Onion Soup
Want the delicious taste of well-marbled, expertly-roasted beef without all the fat? Here's how.
Equipment:
Pressure cooker
Wide Dutch oven
Ingredients:
A well-marbled boneless chuck roast
A large can of chicken broth
5 onions, roughly chopped
1 carrot, chopped fine
3 ribs celery, chopped fine
2 cloves garlic, minced
A handful of chopped parsley
Sachet d'epices (peppercorn, thyme, parsley, bay leaf)
Seasonings:
Worcestershire
Maggi Seasoning
Soy sauce
Dry sherry
To Serve:
Cooked parboiled rice
Salt and pepper both sides of the chuck roast, and coat the bottom of a wide Dutch oven with peanut oil.
Brown both sides of the roast in the Dutch oven, about 4 minutes per side.
Deglaze the Dutch oven with some water, then return the roast to the Dutch oven and braise uncovered at 325F for an hour. The water should come up the sides of the roast only about half way, which means the water level should only be about 1/2" to 3/4" deep.
Flip the roast and braise for another hour. Add a little water if the pan is running dry (usually it doesn't).
Flip the roast again and braise for another hour, adding a little water if necessary, or until fork tender.
Let the roast cool in the Dutch oven on a cooling rack.
Put the roast into a sealable container and refrigerate overnight.
Deglaze the fond in the Dutch oven and reserve in a separate sealable container. This little lovely has more flavor in it than you can imagine, so we're going to use it to great effect in the soup.
The following day, remove the layer of solidified fat from the deglazed fond. Scrape any brown stuff from the underside of the fat layer back into the fond. A little fat will go with it, but it's negligible.
Remove the roast from its container and carefully remove all the solidified fat you can find. If you see anything dark brown along with the whitish cold fat then scrape that brown stuff off the fat and into the container of deglazed fond you reserved.
Cut the roast into inch-thick rashers against the grain, then stand each on its side and slice 1/4" slices. Then stack those slices and cut into 1/4" julienne. Finally, cross-cut the julienne into 1/4" cubes.
You'll find more large pieces of whitish solidified fat inside the roast as you break it down. Just dig them out as you go and keep the meat.
Your cutting board will probably have some brown fond on it. Scrape it up and add it to the meat.
To the pressure cooker, add the chopped roast meat, reserved deglazed fond, chicken broth, vegetables, parsley, sachet d'epices, and two teaspoons of Kosher salt.
Close and lock, and bring to the steam point where timing begins.
Cook for 7 minutes from the steam point, then turn off the heat and trip the steam release valve. After the steam safely releases (about four minutes) and the safety lock releases, open the pressure cooker and remove the sachet d'epices.
Adjusting for seasoning may be a little tricky because all the seasonings are laden with their own dose of salt.
Start by adding a tablespoon of Worcestershire and two teaspoons of Maggi Seasoning, then tasting. It should still be a bit undersalted at this point. If so, add a couple tablespoons of soy sauce and taste again. Keep adding soy sauce until proper salinity is reached, then finish with a couple tablespoons of dry sherry (or to taste).
Spoon a couple tablespoons of cooked parboiled rice into a bowl, ladle on some of the soup, and serve.
Notes:
Equipment:
Pressure cooker
Wide Dutch oven
Ingredients:
A well-marbled boneless chuck roast
A large can of chicken broth
5 onions, roughly chopped
1 carrot, chopped fine
3 ribs celery, chopped fine
2 cloves garlic, minced
A handful of chopped parsley
Sachet d'epices (peppercorn, thyme, parsley, bay leaf)
Seasonings:
Worcestershire
Maggi Seasoning
Soy sauce
Dry sherry
To Serve:
Cooked parboiled rice
Salt and pepper both sides of the chuck roast, and coat the bottom of a wide Dutch oven with peanut oil.
Brown both sides of the roast in the Dutch oven, about 4 minutes per side.
Deglaze the Dutch oven with some water, then return the roast to the Dutch oven and braise uncovered at 325F for an hour. The water should come up the sides of the roast only about half way, which means the water level should only be about 1/2" to 3/4" deep.
Flip the roast and braise for another hour. Add a little water if the pan is running dry (usually it doesn't).
Flip the roast again and braise for another hour, adding a little water if necessary, or until fork tender.
Let the roast cool in the Dutch oven on a cooling rack.
Put the roast into a sealable container and refrigerate overnight.
Deglaze the fond in the Dutch oven and reserve in a separate sealable container. This little lovely has more flavor in it than you can imagine, so we're going to use it to great effect in the soup.
The following day, remove the layer of solidified fat from the deglazed fond. Scrape any brown stuff from the underside of the fat layer back into the fond. A little fat will go with it, but it's negligible.
Remove the roast from its container and carefully remove all the solidified fat you can find. If you see anything dark brown along with the whitish cold fat then scrape that brown stuff off the fat and into the container of deglazed fond you reserved.
Cut the roast into inch-thick rashers against the grain, then stand each on its side and slice 1/4" slices. Then stack those slices and cut into 1/4" julienne. Finally, cross-cut the julienne into 1/4" cubes.
You'll find more large pieces of whitish solidified fat inside the roast as you break it down. Just dig them out as you go and keep the meat.
Your cutting board will probably have some brown fond on it. Scrape it up and add it to the meat.
To the pressure cooker, add the chopped roast meat, reserved deglazed fond, chicken broth, vegetables, parsley, sachet d'epices, and two teaspoons of Kosher salt.
Close and lock, and bring to the steam point where timing begins.
Cook for 7 minutes from the steam point, then turn off the heat and trip the steam release valve. After the steam safely releases (about four minutes) and the safety lock releases, open the pressure cooker and remove the sachet d'epices.
Adjusting for seasoning may be a little tricky because all the seasonings are laden with their own dose of salt.
Start by adding a tablespoon of Worcestershire and two teaspoons of Maggi Seasoning, then tasting. It should still be a bit undersalted at this point. If so, add a couple tablespoons of soy sauce and taste again. Keep adding soy sauce until proper salinity is reached, then finish with a couple tablespoons of dry sherry (or to taste).
Spoon a couple tablespoons of cooked parboiled rice into a bowl, ladle on some of the soup, and serve.
Notes:
- Cooking the roast slowly at a low temperature for three hours renders most of the fat out of the roast. Refrigerating it overnight and removing the remaining solidified fat the following day gets rid of most of the remainder. What's left is there to make the meat tasty and tender, but no more than that. You let the fat do its wonderful job, now let it retire somewhere else.
- Use only parboiled rice for this, and mix it with the soup just before serving. Never mix together with the soup and refrigerate, because that will ruin the dish. Parboiled rice is much firmer and doesn't explode into a starch orgasm like regular rice does, so it remains separated in the soup like it should.
- Why chicken broth instead of beef broth? Because it adds another flavor dimension, and beef broth makes this dish too bitter, bland, and one-dimensional. Let real slow-roasted beef make the dish taste like beef; let the chicken broth give the vegetables a flavorful foundation.
Yeah, it takes time, but it's *so* worth it to see the look on your family's faces. And it doesn't clog up your arteries because of all the fat you removed.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Elliptical Man BLOWS GOATS!!!
I'm here to tell you that the baby-raping Communist bastard who invented the elliptical trainer indeed blows goats. Lots of them. Every day of his miserable f*$&^@# life.
The guy who invented the treadmill is, by contrast, a nice sort of a fellow, with a sweet disposition, a kind word to children, and a firm and reassuring handshake for his fellow man. For he hath designed a simple and straightforward device that showeth it's true colors and doth not lie.
Not the a**hole that invented the elliptical. Not this prick. Who in the hell sits all day in the corner of his dank and poorly-lit room, wringing his sweaty hands and dreaming of ways to lure innocent people into lives of torture? I'll tell you who: f*$&^@# Elliptical Man, that's who!
What kind of a sick, twisted f*$& spends all his time dreaming up something so convincingly tame and docile, so seemingly approachable and helpful, and yet so torturously painful and evil? F*$&^@# Elliptical Man, that's who!
Here's the story. You get on this thing and start off slow, gliding back and forth with your feet and pumping smoothly with your arms. You begin to smile, quietly praising the genius who paid attention during college so he could figure out a linkage system that would create such a forgiving, smooth motion.
Then at about three minutes in, it hits you. All at once, right in the hips, calves, thighs, and knees. "Hey, this isn't so nice!" you say as the lactic acid in your lower extremeties begins to build to a crescendo. "Hey, wait a minute!" you exclaim with a touch of panic as you realize you're a complete pussy for feeling this at the three minute mark, so your male pride forces you to go on.
And then, right at about Minute Five, you're toast: "Son... of... a... BITCH!!!"
Somewhere in Hell, Satan is sharing an entire tray of freshly-baked chocolate eclairs with Elliptical Man, and they're both watching me on closed-circuit TV, laughing. "Good one, Elliptical Man!" Satan says. "Thanks, dad" says Elliptical Man.
I hate hate hate hate hate Elliptical Man. I hate him so very much that I'm going to find him and make him gargle his own balls. Gonna tear his sack off with my bare hands, pour its contents into his screaming mouth, and then laugh at the funny funny warbling sound he makes as he continues to scream. Gonna bring a conductor's wand and conduct this beautiful symphony until he bleeds to death, convulsing in the fetal position in the final act.
And in the meantime, I'm going to continue increasing my time on this hellish nightmare of a machine until I lose the weight. Because there's winning, and then there's everything else.
The guy who invented the treadmill is, by contrast, a nice sort of a fellow, with a sweet disposition, a kind word to children, and a firm and reassuring handshake for his fellow man. For he hath designed a simple and straightforward device that showeth it's true colors and doth not lie.
Not the a**hole that invented the elliptical. Not this prick. Who in the hell sits all day in the corner of his dank and poorly-lit room, wringing his sweaty hands and dreaming of ways to lure innocent people into lives of torture? I'll tell you who: f*$&^@# Elliptical Man, that's who!
What kind of a sick, twisted f*$& spends all his time dreaming up something so convincingly tame and docile, so seemingly approachable and helpful, and yet so torturously painful and evil? F*$&^@# Elliptical Man, that's who!
Here's the story. You get on this thing and start off slow, gliding back and forth with your feet and pumping smoothly with your arms. You begin to smile, quietly praising the genius who paid attention during college so he could figure out a linkage system that would create such a forgiving, smooth motion.
Then at about three minutes in, it hits you. All at once, right in the hips, calves, thighs, and knees. "Hey, this isn't so nice!" you say as the lactic acid in your lower extremeties begins to build to a crescendo. "Hey, wait a minute!" you exclaim with a touch of panic as you realize you're a complete pussy for feeling this at the three minute mark, so your male pride forces you to go on.
And then, right at about Minute Five, you're toast: "Son... of... a... BITCH!!!"
Somewhere in Hell, Satan is sharing an entire tray of freshly-baked chocolate eclairs with Elliptical Man, and they're both watching me on closed-circuit TV, laughing. "Good one, Elliptical Man!" Satan says. "Thanks, dad" says Elliptical Man.
I hate hate hate hate hate Elliptical Man. I hate him so very much that I'm going to find him and make him gargle his own balls. Gonna tear his sack off with my bare hands, pour its contents into his screaming mouth, and then laugh at the funny funny warbling sound he makes as he continues to scream. Gonna bring a conductor's wand and conduct this beautiful symphony until he bleeds to death, convulsing in the fetal position in the final act.
And in the meantime, I'm going to continue increasing my time on this hellish nightmare of a machine until I lose the weight. Because there's winning, and then there's everything else.
Tuna & White Bean Salad Wraps
My wife, The Lovely And Talented Lisa, loves the combination of tuna and white beans, so I created a cool wrap that makes a light lunch. The kids loved it, too.
Ingredients:
Whole wheat lavash bread (a thin bread used to make wraps)
1 can Goya brand small white beans, drained and thoroughly rinsed
2 cans light tuna in olive oil (yes, I said it: olive oil. Don't panic.)
1 cup strained Greek yogurt (the stuff I get is sold pre-strained)
Parsley
Capers (the smaller, the better)
Onion
Cucumber
Grape tomatoes
Balsamic vinegar (D.O.P. Modena in the $30 range or better)
Apple cider vinegar
Salt
Sugar
Important:
Ingredients:
Whole wheat lavash bread (a thin bread used to make wraps)
1 can Goya brand small white beans, drained and thoroughly rinsed
2 cans light tuna in olive oil (yes, I said it: olive oil. Don't panic.)
1 cup strained Greek yogurt (the stuff I get is sold pre-strained)
Parsley
Capers (the smaller, the better)
Onion
Cucumber
Grape tomatoes
Balsamic vinegar (D.O.P. Modena in the $30 range or better)
Apple cider vinegar
Salt
Sugar
Important:
- Tempted as you may be for diet reasons, *don't* use tuna in water -- especially albacore. It will be tasteless and dry and stick to your throat. Light tuna in olive oil (no other kind of oil, please!) has all the taste and texture preserved by the oil rather than washed out into a water bath. Just drain the oil from the tuna very well by pressing hard on the can top after you open the can. The oil makes a nice treat for your cats.
- Don't substitute any other kind of yogurt for this recipe or you'll have an unpalatable mess falling out all over your hands when you try to eat it. Strained yogurt is very thick, which it needs to be because the ingredients you add to it will thin it considerably. Regular American yogurt is already thin, and the non-fat stuff turns into water as soon as you touch it.
- I drain my white beans by washing them in a big mixing bowl with cold water, draining in a sieve, and repeating until all traces of the starchy liquid is gone (typically two quick washings)
Whisk the yogurt to temper it, which will also loosen its structure and make it easier to work with.
Finely mince as many capers and as much parsley as you like and whisk it into the yogurt.
Peel and seed the cucumber, and whisk the seeds and pulp into the yogurt mixture.
Cut the grape tomatoes into eighths, then gently express the seeds and pulp and whisk them into the yogurt mixture.
Finely mince the onion.
Mix together the drained and rinsed white beans with the drained and broken-up tuna, some parsley, and a good drizzling of quality balsamic, and toss it gently.
Adjust the yogurt mixture for salt, then for sugar, and finally for tartness using additional capers and some apple cider vinegar. Your yogurt dressing is done.
To assemble, spread a very thin layer of the yogurt dressing on the last three inches of one end of a piece of lavash bread, place about 1/3 cup of the tuna mixture on the other end, and sprinkle with as much minced onion, chopped cucumber, and chopped grape tomatoes as you like.
Nap a couple tablespoons of yogurt dressing over the beans, roll up in a spiral fashion (rather than burrito fashion, which would let all the filling spill out) toward the thin layer of yogurt, which will act like a glue to hold that end of the lavash bread to the wrap.
Enjoy! :)
Note:
Lisa wanted capers in the dish, so I made the acids and herbs work around capers. If I were making this entirely on my own, I would eliminate the capers, vinegar and parsley in the dressing and instead use fresh dill, lemon juice, and finely minced lemon zest. I would also use lemon juice instead of balsamic in the bean and tuna mixture, but I would have kept the parsley there. The lemon-dill notes would make for a "brighter" taste.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Wishbone Italian Fat Free Salad Dressing... Who Knew?
I have long feared the disgusting taste and texture of most fat-free foods. A better substitute for regular food would be to just start beating me mercilessly with a large heavy stick and then pouring hot sand down my throat.
So trying Wishbone Italian Fat Free Dressing was a nice surprise. Maybe one of the reasons why I rail against fat-free substitutes is because I know the basics of the food chemistry behind it all, and I know what it's doing in my mouth and in my mind to fool me into thinking that I'm satisfied. But apparently food chemistry has come a long way in a rather short time since I first dared to try fat-free stuff a few years back.
And it is a nice surprise, because i love a big salad with cucumber and tomato, and a sharp dressing with just a hint of sweetness to it. So I'm going to keep this stuff on hand from now on.
This weekend I'll be starting R&D on a vegetarian chili with all the body and mouth feel but with very little fat. I'm going to start development of the fat replacement using pureed black beans and a little boiled starch. Meat replacement will probably go along the lines of a wheat gluten / soy protein / black bean mix. Lots of red and green bell pepper because The Lovely And Talented Lisa likes 'em, l'onion because Justin would have demanded it (rest in peace, mon ami), enough chipotle in adobo to ring your bell at least once, and cook everything together in a hearty tomato base. I'll let it all meld together overnight in the fridge and serve it the following day. Should pick up some thickness and texture overnight. If it works I'll post the recipe.
Going on one meal today. We'll see how that goes.
KBO!
So trying Wishbone Italian Fat Free Dressing was a nice surprise. Maybe one of the reasons why I rail against fat-free substitutes is because I know the basics of the food chemistry behind it all, and I know what it's doing in my mouth and in my mind to fool me into thinking that I'm satisfied. But apparently food chemistry has come a long way in a rather short time since I first dared to try fat-free stuff a few years back.
And it is a nice surprise, because i love a big salad with cucumber and tomato, and a sharp dressing with just a hint of sweetness to it. So I'm going to keep this stuff on hand from now on.
This weekend I'll be starting R&D on a vegetarian chili with all the body and mouth feel but with very little fat. I'm going to start development of the fat replacement using pureed black beans and a little boiled starch. Meat replacement will probably go along the lines of a wheat gluten / soy protein / black bean mix. Lots of red and green bell pepper because The Lovely And Talented Lisa likes 'em, l'onion because Justin would have demanded it (rest in peace, mon ami), enough chipotle in adobo to ring your bell at least once, and cook everything together in a hearty tomato base. I'll let it all meld together overnight in the fridge and serve it the following day. Should pick up some thickness and texture overnight. If it works I'll post the recipe.
Going on one meal today. We'll see how that goes.
KBO!
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